words/
julia bosski przybora
foto/
grzegorz pastuszak
It’s very funny.
I moved from Berlin, a city where everyone fucks, to a city where no one is doing it !
I wonder- and analyse it with my friends of different orientations and sexual preferences- why is it so?
In Warsaw I know mostly incredibly beautiful men and women- all young, smart, creative, we all are/ look like models, most are actually models or actors.
And all these beautiful women sleep alone dreaming of a beautiful prince to sleep with.
All men dream about other beautiful men/ women to sleep with.
But at the end we choose to sleep alone, to not even have an affair.
[in my case – i haven’t met such hot man in Warsaw to really let myself free (maybe twice, all last year, i’m here since 2019- all affairs Ive had since 2 years were outside of Warsaw (outside of Poland mostly), except few ADVENTURES- which I kind of regret)
– all these beautiful men (my friends) i talk about are gay- or not my type ;))- but they must be other men’s/women’s types and they still don’t sleep with each other!
With few of my friends we see it as maturity– we just prefer to sleep alone and if needed, we please ourselves, by ourselves, which we find better than mechanical, only carnal experience with another body and , the worst- waking up next to someone we don’t like, feeling empty and used/ disappointed .
I wonder if it’s maturity or are we all self obsessed ?
I was always curious about my sex- fantasies dreams- very often i dreamt of having sex with myself, and I actually had great orgasms while asleep !
With myself !
Where is it going ?
Aren’t we able to open ourselves anymore for a carefree sex with someone who we don’t find as perfect as ourselves??
Or are we getting mature by not stepping into disappointing/ dangerous physical experiences, because we value ourselves? Or are we selfish and egoistic ?
(And really frustrated sexually- because of that)
WHERE’S THE BOARDER BETWEEN OBSCENE AND PRUDE?
When I came back from Berlin I remember that I was disgusted and exhausted with the whole “sex” vibe that you can sense there, although I was mostl exhausted with the “filthy”, irresposnsible, , empty sex, that was making me sick already at some point.
The truth is, I never stopped being interested in sex- in opposite, I think I’ve had an affair in every city I travelled to, that year when I came back to Warsaw.
I also was on that vibe- to have sex, to seduce, to be seduced.
And here it goes again- have i just gotten older and mature ?
I’ve had great, crazy sex in my life and I know how addictive it can be, how the whole process of seduction may make us want only more and more.
I don’t feel it anymore since about a year-
Before having sex, I consider pros and contras, I think of possible consequences. I don’t want to get involved,
I don’t want another person to get involved/ fall in love with me.
I really wouldn’t like to get pregnant . When I was younger I did actually think YOLO, but now i realize how silly and irresponsible it was and how lucky i am that I never got pregnant nor sick.
I was silly and irresponsible. I regret that.
Not the adventures, although the more I think about it, I do regret some of them a little.
I think, that if I gave less attention and energy to my sex and “love life: I could have focused on creation and my career, and not subordinate my life to some affair/ particular person.
So maybe we’re just mature and smart and responsible. Ane maybe it really is the way to love yourself first and most, even if you’re horny and frustrated, to actually wait for someone “RIGHT”.
I do think so.
Yes.
When I think now that I could have sex just for having sex, with someone I don’t fully admire and respect, I’d probably be pretty sad and even more frustrated.
So..let’s wait till the borders are open and I can finally travel and have sex with foreigners !!
Haha.. just joking..
It’s not that easy anymore for me…(mentally !! )
I do hope though to have brilliant and fulfilling sex with an astonishing other person again..
TBC..(I hope)
© All photographs by Grzegorz Pastuszak for Bossque
concept
model/
julia bosski przybora
hmua/
marta jędrys
